The Rather Pathetic Attempts to Woo Lily Evans
by AllyCat-Dolphinlover
Summary: What do you when the girl of you dreams rejects you? You ask her out again... and again... and again... and again... and again... and again... You get the point. Please read & review, better than it looks...


The Rather Pathetic Attempts to Woo Lily Evans 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter... but their parents? That's a different story... Mwa Ha Ha

James Potter flew over, on his broom, to a group of third year girls near the lake.

"Good morning, girls, isn't it a lovely day?" there was a chorus of 'yeah's and 'sure's but Lily Evans kept on reading.

"Okay, to the point, Lily," Lily looked up at the mention of her name. "I was wondering if you're going to Hogsmeade with anyone, this weekend?"

Isn't of giggling and screaming out 'no', Lily just went, "Well... I- sorry, no."

"No, what?"

"I wont go out with you." the other girls gasped, except for Alice, she just snorted.

"How did you know I was going to ask that?" James asked, a bit annoyed. Lily raised here eyebrows. "Okay, I was, but you don't need to reject me so quickly..."

"Sorry... bye."

"What!?"

"...um, bye?"

"First you reject me, then tell me to leave, well I'll let you know something, Lily Evans!!"

"What?" Lily asked tiredly.

"I'm a Marauder-"

"Again with that name."

"-And I _never_ give up!!" with that he turned around, jumped on his broom and flew away.

"Oh, Merlin..." Lily remarked.

-----

"EVANS, WILL GO OUT WITH ME?" James shouted, standing up on the Gryffindor table in the Great hall.

Lily's face went red, but said "No." before getting up with dignity and leaving James rejected in front of the whole school.

-----

"Go out with me, Evans."

"I'd rather jump out of a plane with no parachute."

"What's a plane?"

"Something I want you to get hit by."

-----

"EVANS GO OUT WITH ME OR I'LL WILL HEX SIRIUS!!" James yelled his wand pointing to Sirius' head.

"Potter, you know I couldn't care less about Black." Lily said, amused.

"Harsh..." Sirius said, not at all bothered by the fact his best friend was holding him captive.

"But, I couldn't find Remus..." James whispered in a pained voice.

-----

"Well, as you may know, there is a hogsmeade trip this weekend."

"Yes, and I have a date." Lily answered.

"With me?" James added hopefully.

"Sure, in a million years."

"I'm counting the minutes, baby."

-----

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HEXED MY BOYFRIEND, POTTER!!" Lily shrieked.

"No need to thank me, just go on a date with me and we're even."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"Yeah, I know, I'm so good-looking, sometimes I even scare myself... please don't hex me."

-----

"I, JAMES POTTER, AM STANDING HERE TODAY, IN FRONT OF MY CLASSMATES AND FRIENDS... AND SLYTHERTHINS, TO CONFESS MY UNDYING LOVE FOR LILY ANNE EVANS-!"

"My middle name isn't Anne." Lily interupted annoyed. "If you're going to humiliate yourself in front of the whole school, you might as well do it right."

"Really? But Lily Anne sounds better. Like Lilli-an, you know like how it would be funny if Sirius' middle name was Lee, like Serious-ly!?"

"You're off topic..." Sirius muttered.

"Oh right. SO I ASK, WOULD YOU, LILY, NOT ANNE, EVANS, GO OUT WITH ME!?"

"No." with that Lily got up and left.

There was a long silence as everyone tried not to laugh before, "I told you to stick to the topic."

-----

"What do you mean it's not the password!?"

"I mean Mr Potter asked me to change it this afternoon." the Fat Lady said.

"What!? How can he do that? He's not a prefect or the head boy!"

"But he changed it, he must be a prefect."

"HE'S A FOURTH YEAR!!"

"I'm sorry, dear, I think you should go to the hospital wing, you are obviously deluded right now..."

"I'M NOT BLOODY DELUDED... hold on... is the password, I will go out with James Potter?"

"No," said a voice behind her, "It's 'James Rocks,' but I kindly accept that offer." A minute later James arrived in the common room with a black eye.

-----

"HEY, LILY-DEAREST, I LOVE YOU!!" Across the great hall.

"Potter." Lily acknowledged.

"WILL YOU PLEASE GO ON A DATE WITH ME!?!"

"No."

"BUT I SAID 'PLEASE'!"

"And I said no."

-----

"Please, Evans, Go out with me."

"I'd rather kiss a hippogriff."

"Oh that's just mean, I'm _so_ much cuter."

-----

"Lily-Flower!! You, me, Astronomy tower?"

"Lily-Flower? That's new."

"Yeah... WAIT! Where are you going?! COME BACK!"

-----

"Hey, Lils-

"No, Potter."

"I didn't even ask yet."

"The answers still no."

"Oh, that's just depressing."

-----

"Lily, you look absolutely great today, may I say that-"

"Black, leave me alone, I'm not going out with Potter."

"Aw, come on, but if you do, I get 10 galleons!"

"More of a reason to say no."

-----

"Lilykins, I'll give you 20 galleons if you go out with me."

"Make it 25."

"Deal!"

"I was joking..."

"Er... How about 30?" Lily just rolled her eyes and walked away. "50!?"

-----

'_Violets are Blue,_

_Roses are Red,_

_Why do you, Lily Evans, want me dead?_

_Love your favourite Gryffindor Knight.'_

Lily raised her eyebrows, "_Gryffindor Knight?_"

James shrugged, "It's what Sirius named the Quidditch team... The Gryffindor Knights."

"Why would he name the Quidditch team?"

"The question is why wouldn't I?" Sirius answered.

"You two are just mad."

"And that's why you love us!"

"Sure, _love_, that's the word."

"You're being sarcastic aren't you!"

"_No? _You think?" Lily answered.

"So... Are you going to go out with me?"

Lily threw her pumpkin juice over his head, "Oops." she said smiling sweetly.

-----

"Evans, would you-"

"No."

"Pass the toast?" Lily blushed and passed the toast, "You know what goes great with toast? Butterbeer. We should get some sometime, say this weekend?"

-----

"Liiiiillllllyyyyyy," James sang, "Wiiillllll yyyyyyyoooooouuuuu gooooo ouuuuutttt wwwiiiiiiiiiiiittttthhhhh mmmmmmeee!?!?" his voice cracked as he 'attempted' to hit a high note.

"Oh my gosh, NEVER, and I mean NEVER, sing again." Lily said.

"I wont if you go out with me!"

"Blackmail?... bad approach, he's gonna get it..." Sirius muttered.

"Sure, James, I'll go out with you." Lily said smiling.

"Whoa, never saw that coming..." Sirius said.

"WHEN YOU DEFLATE YOU HEAD!" she screamed before stomping away.

"You're never going to get a date with Evans." Sirius remarked.

"Thanks, Padfoot..."

"No problem, Prongs."

-----

"Evans do you want to-"

"Push you off a cliff? Yes, very much."

-----

"Today is the day."

"Friday?"

"No, Siri ol' buddy, today is the 600th time I will ask Lilykins out."

"That's nice."

"And you know that muggle saying?"

"No, I don't."

"600th time lucky."

"That's not a saying." Remus interupted from his book.

"Yeah? Well, it should be."

"No, it shouldn't, I don't think anybody else in the world has been rejected as many times as you."

"Moony, did I ask for your opinion?"

"No, but I felt like putting you down..." Remus muttered.

_Later_

"Evans, you may know this, but today is-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I'm-"

"No!"

"Wait-"

"NO! GOODBYE, POTTER!" Lily yelled at the top of her voice before storming out.

"Okay, maybe 605th time lucky?" James said before chasing Lily out.

-----

"POTTER! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"Setting up a prank, now are you going to stand there and yell at me, or are you going to help hex those chairs?"

"What do you think?"

"Help?"

"You're seriously deluded- not a word, Black." she said as Sirius opened his mouth to the say his 'Sirius' pun.

"Oh right, yell at me. well I might as well have some fun. You wanna go out with me?"

"Please, I'd rather help set up you're little prank, which I'll_ never _do."

"Never is a _long_ time, minds change."

-----

James glanced around the station looking for a certain Miss Evans going away for Christmas. He spotted his favourite red-head and walked over to her, "Hey, Evans, your place or mine?"

"Both, you'll go to yours and I'll go to mine, got it?" Lily said before leaving to go to her family.

"Who's your friend, Lily?" her mother asked.

"He's not a friend... he's Potter, he's more of a pest."

James smiled dreamily as he watched Lily walk away, his mother asked, "Okay, James, confess up. What are you on?"

"Nothing. Evans referred to me as a pest."

"That girl you like? How is that a good thing?"

"She acknowledged my constant annoying presence instead of cruelly ignoring me."

-----

"Happy Valentines day... I see you are burning the 48 Valentines I sent you... Even the ones that sing... Oh and you're ripping up the Sirius handmade ones I made him make, don't worry I would too. Oh I see you are collecting the ashes and putting them in a jar... and coming towards me... you're shaking the jar... and unscrewing the lid... and the ashes are flying in the air... now I am sooty."

-----

"Fine."

"What?"

"I'll go out with you."

"Really?"

"No."

"Oh."

"I was joking."

"Which time?"

"Huh?"

"When you said you would go out with me or when you said you wouldn't?"

"When I said I wouldn't."

"You will, then."

"Yes."

"By choice?"

"What do you want, a medal?"

"So... you... you will... go out with me."

Lily sighed, "... Slow aren't you." James smirked. "Shut up, James"

Lily said before leaving with a small smile curving on her face.

-----

Fin.


End file.
